Saying 'no'...

I thought I would get a jump on Living Simply Saturdays
I am not sure what the rest of the day and certainly the weekend will bring so here I am.

I think we all feel like we should say 'no' way more than we do. Is it a mom thing or a woman thing? Who knows for sure but it is something that I sure struggle with. I think we have all said yes to some project, committee, party, playgroup, job, etc. and wondered 'what have I gotten myself into?' Yes, that was the story of my life for a while and now I am tired and ready to say 'no'. I hate that it has gotten to that point but whatever it takes, I say. I am ready. Ready to be the 'slacker mom'. I hate that saying but it's what I feel like these days. Yes, I have friends who are proud to be slacker moms. Why can't I be like that? I still feel guilty saying no or not volunteering for something. It has taken me a while but I realized that I can't 'fix' everything and I can't head every committee. Have I got it all figured out? Not hardly but I am working on it.

I always used to think that I had to have a 'reason' and a good one if I said no to some request. I just never felt like 'because I don't feel like it' was good enough. You know what, it is good enough and maybe the best reason of all. That and 'I need a nap.' :) I still do alot of things, I think. But I pick and choose what is really important to me. What I really LIKE to do. There are just some things I dislike very. very much - like sitting outside a grocery store selling stuff - and I choose not to do them. Would I do something to help out someone in a pinch even if I didn't really want to? Sure, that's what friends are for and people do it for me.

The reason I thought about saying no today was that a friend of mine is running all over creation today to pick up water, juice, fruit and muffins that local businesses are donating to the Schoolwalk for Diabetes that our school is having tomorrow. I saw the list and thought 'boy, that's a lot of running around, I bet she could use some help.' Now the old Debra would have said 'let me do some of that' knowing darn well that I don't have the time to do that today. The new Debra just nodded and felt guilty.

Now I need to work on the guilt thing...

Have a wonderful weekend!

Comments

Stephanie said…
It's tough to learn to say no, isn't it? I still struggle with that sometimes, but I am slowly learning that I have limits and that is serves my family more when I recognize those limits and don't overwhelm myself!

I don't think we need to feel guilty for not taking on everything. Others may feel slighted or upset sometimes, but it is not always our issue, you know? We only need to focus on doing what we have been called to do, and not take on what others think we should do!

Stephanie @
Keeper of the Home
November 15, 2008 at 8:00 AM
Kellie said…
I can relate to this... I recently said "no" to something, for the first time, ever, even though they pressured me after to say yes and I continued to say no... I had a little guilt, but then I thought: Why? It's not my fault all these committee heads take on everything and then want everyone to do the same. And then I felt a twinge of glee that I took control of my life!
November 20, 2008 at 6:46 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Favorite Things....

Image
Join Melissa @ 320 Sycamore for her My Favorite Things party. Here are my favorite things: David Cook. The CD. Still lovin' it. Listen to it a lot. It's good. Very good. Philosophy Lip Gloss. I have the melon daiquiri flavor and love it. It's shiny AND stays on. Tastes good, too. About $12. Electric Pepper Mill. How did I live without this? Really. You can find one like this at Crate & Barrel for about $40 or so. Peets Coffee . I talk about Starbucks a lot because we don't have a Peets here. It's really the best in my opinion. Luckily you can find it in the grocery store for about $14/lb -or less when it's on sale. You know that's when I buy it! :) Measuring cups. I have these from Williams-Sonoma. I love them. I think it's my favorite thing in my kitchen. At least one of them. And one I use almost daily. It took a while for me to break down and buy them but I have to admit that it's the best $30 I have ever spent. When Little Miss moves us
Read more

Changes...

Image
I posted some photos of my living room a while back. I realized how blah and boring it looks. I appreciate the suggestions I was given. One of them was 'paint'. We had the walls painted a couple years ago so I really didn't want to do it again just yet so I had to figure what else I could do to get some color in there. I thought about painting a canvas red to match the chair ( below). After talking to my sister she suggested dipping cool whip containers in paint to make the circles and an idea was born. I bought the 3 canvases (20" X 20") at Michaels at 50% off - the three cost $21. I got a quart of paint at Lowe's ($12 - Martha Stewart's Cranberry something or the other). The blue paint was a sample size of Olympic that someone didn't buy -$1. Cool whip container and little round container I had in the kitchen - free. Fleur de lis printed off computer, traced on canvas and painted - free. So for $34 I got this new look. Very David Bro
Read more

Monday, Monday...

Image
Monday's are usually my favorite days. Everyone is back to work and school and I have the morning to gather my thoughts and eat a leisurely breakfast before starting my day. My friend, E, who I carpool with has her husband take the kids to school since he is off on Mondays. Today, however, has been a bit odd. We had a new dishwasher delivered this morning and my husband uninstalled the old one last night. This morning I wake up to a leak in one of the dishwasher hoses - thankfully just a slow leak but still an inconvenience. My husband had to come home and semi-install the new dishwasher to stop the leak. I have been washing the dishes in the wet bar sink instead of the kitchen sink since something is turned off there and the hubby said not to use it until the new dishwasher is totally installed. I am thankful to have a wet bar sink and not have to resort to washing the dishes in the bathroom - something I am sure we've all had to do at one time. I have some things in t
Read more