Saying 'no'...

I thought I would get a jump on Living Simply Saturdays
I am not sure what the rest of the day and certainly the weekend will bring so here I am.

I think we all feel like we should say 'no' way more than we do. Is it a mom thing or a woman thing? Who knows for sure but it is something that I sure struggle with. I think we have all said yes to some project, committee, party, playgroup, job, etc. and wondered 'what have I gotten myself into?' Yes, that was the story of my life for a while and now I am tired and ready to say 'no'. I hate that it has gotten to that point but whatever it takes, I say. I am ready. Ready to be the 'slacker mom'. I hate that saying but it's what I feel like these days. Yes, I have friends who are proud to be slacker moms. Why can't I be like that? I still feel guilty saying no or not volunteering for something. It has taken me a while but I realized that I can't 'fix' everything and I can't head every committee. Have I got it all figured out? Not hardly but I am working on it.

I always used to think that I had to have a 'reason' and a good one if I said no to some request. I just never felt like 'because I don't feel like it' was good enough. You know what, it is good enough and maybe the best reason of all. That and 'I need a nap.' :) I still do alot of things, I think. But I pick and choose what is really important to me. What I really LIKE to do. There are just some things I dislike very. very much - like sitting outside a grocery store selling stuff - and I choose not to do them. Would I do something to help out someone in a pinch even if I didn't really want to? Sure, that's what friends are for and people do it for me.

The reason I thought about saying no today was that a friend of mine is running all over creation today to pick up water, juice, fruit and muffins that local businesses are donating to the Schoolwalk for Diabetes that our school is having tomorrow. I saw the list and thought 'boy, that's a lot of running around, I bet she could use some help.' Now the old Debra would have said 'let me do some of that' knowing darn well that I don't have the time to do that today. The new Debra just nodded and felt guilty.

Now I need to work on the guilt thing...

Have a wonderful weekend!

Comments

Stephanie said…
It's tough to learn to say no, isn't it? I still struggle with that sometimes, but I am slowly learning that I have limits and that is serves my family more when I recognize those limits and don't overwhelm myself!

I don't think we need to feel guilty for not taking on everything. Others may feel slighted or upset sometimes, but it is not always our issue, you know? We only need to focus on doing what we have been called to do, and not take on what others think we should do!

Stephanie @
Keeper of the Home
November 15, 2008 at 8:00 AM
Kellie said…
I can relate to this... I recently said "no" to something, for the first time, ever, even though they pressured me after to say yes and I continued to say no... I had a little guilt, but then I thought: Why? It's not my fault all these committee heads take on everything and then want everyone to do the same. And then I felt a twinge of glee that I took control of my life!
November 20, 2008 at 6:46 AM
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