No...

I am going to piggy back on Stephanie's post topic for Living Simply Saturdays: Saying 'no'. As I made this one of my new year's resolutions, I figured this would be a good time to talk about it. I think we all stuggle with saying no. If you don't, I would love to hear how you do it.

I have always been the type that when asked to do something I quickly reply 'yes' without giving it too much thought if the idea sounds remotely enticing. When I need to look at logistics, I often realize that the event I have committed to is not practical or sometimes even desirable. And there are times when it's just something I really don't want to do. I am trying to give myself time to digest the request and see if it really fits in with my current priorities. Saying "let me look at my calendar" or (my favorite) "let me check with my husband" gives me time not only to check but to think about what 'yes' entails (getting a babysitter, cleaning the house for company, buying something, etc.) Although I do have to make an extra call to give my answer I have given myself time to really think if this is something I want to do. And often, it's just not how I want to spend my time.

Now if it sounds like I am a pro at this, I am not (otherwise I would have not made the resolution). It's hard to practice what you preach sometimes. It took me a year, one year, to quit my Bunco group because I just couldn't say no. I only ever wanted to be a sub but I got talked into being a regular. While it was fun it just wasn't something I wanted to do every month. I finally quit in August . And everyone tried to get me to stay - very flattering but it was really hard to say 'no' to 11 other people.

When I remember my priorities: basically my family and my home (in a nutshell) it's easier to make decisions. I have a friend who decided that she was giving up anything that didn't directly benefit her children ( she would say 'yes' to a storytime but 'no' to being on the board of a mom's group). That was her way of categorizing requests and it works for her. We all have our own categories and once we know what they are we are well on our way to saying 'no' to all the things that take up our time and don't add to the joy in our lives.

Please check out Living Simply Saturdays for more simple living ideas...

Comments

Kimberly said…
I am glad I am the first to comment. This is the first time I have visited your blog and I have to say an AMEN to your post. My new year's resolution is to incorporate the word "efficient" throughout my life. It's my word for the year. This post of 'No' is half of what that word means to me. Not only saying no to things that don't align with my goals, but also searching out new avenues for achieving my goals of making every minute count. I waste too much time. Well, maybe wasting just a few minutes to relax would be okay.
January 11, 2009 at 10:41 AM
Laurie Anne said…
Keep it up. The more you say it the better it feels. I'm trying to say "yes" to things I enjoy and will do a good job at as opposed to everything and feeling like I didn't do my best. I think in the long run, folks appreciate the honesty. Besides, if we do everything we are not allowing others to become involved :0)
January 11, 2009 at 11:22 AM
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